I hate "countdowns"

I do. I don't know why people keep insisting on doing them. If someones getting married, they count down. If someones graduating, they count down. If someones about to do ANYTHING, they countdown. Perhaps to make the event more dramatic...idk, maybe I'm bitter because I'm constantly being reminded of my time left in Brasil. Which I'd rather just try and make the most and enjoy the rest of it, instead of thinking ahead to the future.

I mean I don't really care THAT much...do what you gotta do, ya know...whatever floats your boat...that just doesn't particularly float MY boat.

A couple of weeks ago, I thought I should probably start and think about gifts for people. I would just keep getting that overwhelmed feeling that would make me really indecisive to the point where I would just forget about the whole thing. My conflicts stems from, thinking about being fair, thinking about price and how I spent HALF OF MY MONEY THE FIRST WEEK I WAS HERE...trying to think too much about the individual person (which is a good thing, no doubt, but I have 17 people on my list of things to get stuff for :/ )...but then today, my last weekend in Floripa, all those doubts and hesitations went flying out the window :) Which is good, cause now I can just get the stuff and move on with my life. I'm done thinking about money and how I should be conservative with it. My justification is that I don't spend money like this in the states...see, it's a good thing that I'm usually really busy to the point of where I don't have time to spend money, hahaha...Like I had to ask my parentals for more money :/ which is lame I know, like I should have been MORE THAN ABLE TO set a budget and stick to it to have plenty of extra money...I begged my dad to set a budget for me but he was just like, "just control it and don't splurge...watch your daily spending"...my response..."no shit I should just 'control' it, but I'm telling you that this is most definately not my strong point...YOU OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW THIS"...I didn't say that to my dad verbatim obviously...I was just like "ooooookkkkkkkkaaaay", haha...and rightly fully so.

reminders of things to blog about...
"So how's the portuguese"
Brasil album
presentation
last weekend (LECO mania)-first thing EVERYONE said when I told them lol.
Homemade Italian pizza :)
Centro
Bikini from Cris
2nd to last day in lab (group pic and how Cris called me out)
Dr. Fitz

Still need to shop for...
shirts
bracelets
shorts (Barra da Lagoa)
feather and stud earrings (open market)
A couple more pairs of Havaianas
shotglasses
more coffee
guava paste
something for my mom to put in the house
coffee mug for dad

All in all...I'm doing ok...lots of stuff going on at home that are great :)
Feels great to have been gone for so long and knowing that there are a bunch of people awaiting my return...don't think it wouldve been quite the same if this weren't the case!!!!!
I glad to say that I'm 100% over any issue I had at home before I left. Brasil was EXACTLY what I needed in my life at this particular time. I was kind of "stuck in a rut" before I left, living mondanely in the daily activities of life. Not thinking about much else other than what was immediately before me. That goes for people and things. I always say that "hindsight is a very important perspective" as it molds you into who you are to become...its so true...I think I was so depressed that first week of being here because I knew that everything that I was holding on to in the states, aka bad relationships, uncertain relationships, pressure to the best at school, etc etc, would have to be let go completely. It's funny how actually dealing and facing your personal issues are somewhat easier to just leave unexamined. God, I'm making myself sound like a mental nutcase...call me what you will. So, I feel like I can come back and kind of "start over" I love this new, fresh perspective I have on life, think it will hold up for a while...life is good.