So I went to bed last night at like 7pm and couldn't get up this morning. I ended up FORCING myself to get out of bed at around noon. WTF?!?! I don't know. I do this when I'm depressed, overwhelmed, or a lovely combo of both. At the Wesberry Surgery Center, we call this "having a moment". Thoughts about Grad school, Dental School, or Med school, my research, or lack there-of, leaving Brasil, having to get through another year of ridiculous biology courses, applying to more schools, taking entrance exams, not being able to be around the people I want to be around, having to let go of certain desires only to maybe have it again one day, blah, blah, blah....all came flooding in. So my body's defense mechanism...sleep, sleep, and more sleep. My room here in the pousada is perfect for such a strategy. I can make it pitch black in the middle of the sunniest of sunny days...
...it's just rough having unplanned events occur that completely change the coarse of how you see your life in the next few years. This experience in Brasil has done such amazing work on me. Do I really want the lifestyle of a medical student and then a resident in which the prospects of incorporating even a daily workout regimen seems overly hopeful?!? I've been considering Dental school, which I have worked for a dentist for the past 3 and a half years...I would just feel like I was copping out from medicine. I know this is all personal and in my head...all of which I'm starting to let go. I'd like a life and a career, not life=career. I don't know why I'm talking about all of this right now, maybe the stout cup of coffee I just downed has something to do with it. I'm going to the beach now to shop...hopefully I will come back as the emotionally in control woman that I am, haha...upon my return I will need to list my list of school that I will apply to and make a list of songs that I will debut on my "summer in Brasil 2010" album...
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